And here’s the video I mentioned 2 days ago [or click on the gif] I know, it’s sort of stupid / narcissistic to make gifs of one’s own video, but I hardly click on vids scrolling quickly through tumblr these days and I really liked the scenes. Still not convinced with the sound of the guitar, though. Ah yes: Here’s the english version of the text and here the tumblr of the one man band.
28 - I kinda like that number, mostly because of the 8, which looks like the twisted symbol for infinity. Feels like I’ve been walking in its notches for the last 28 years. And of course, I won’t be young much more. Am I even young anymore? I’m close to 30 now, but hey, I’m still in my twens, still a 20something. I’ve became an adult practically just some months ago. And still feel like a teenage fuckhead. And I’ve escaped 27 Club. But I wouldn’t appear on that list either, because I’m not famous. And I wouldn’t even care, because I’d be dead then.
So on this thursday in april I spend my birthday alone, as I always do. I never really got, why people celebrate their birthdays anyways. Another year behind, without that something of real importance would have had happen. Another number added to a reversed countdown to death of which you still don’t know, when it’s gonna happen. If nothing comes inbetween, then I’ve got about 50 summers left.
But something did actually happen this time: Remember, when I wrote on December 31st, as a kind of resolution, that I want to finish my first EP this year? Check. I’m going to record a video for the last song in the next hours, which should be done editing in a few days. Also upcoming, there will be a text about my days in art school, which is about 2/3 finished. It’s going to be a long payoff. But I’m really looking forward. The time of self-pity is over. Hopefully. Running out of money also is a good reason to actually make stuff, although of course it doesn’t feel good to be broke and not knowing where to go. It’s the same procedure as every year: “I’m not half of what I wish I was”, but maybe a quarter. I’m still here. This is happening.
Here’s the commented video, which I projected in my performance “This could be my last piece” and its ~150 sources are listed and linked in this page. So, if you have 45 minutes to spare, then I’ll you the story of my life [in german]. And here are two live-excerpts of the recital in february: #1 & #2.
The two performances themselves went well, but I’m not sure whether this is what I want. Whilst I sort of gave the answer within this doubt. I mean: People were clapping at the end, but did they really ‘understand’ something? I had the feeling, even though I made verbal errors and mistakes, that I really gave everything, but that not much of this was left, when the show was over. Short laughs, little chuckles. And then? I guess that I just try to put the energy into writing and music from now on, while the latters ‘presentations’ could have a performative character as well, if I ever appear on stage with it.
Btw, I searched for critiques of the performance earlier that day and one result led to a blog post written in Japanese, of which I thought it was spam at first, but it’s actually a Japanese guy living in Berlin, who had seen the show. Google translates the first sentence with “Performance of machine gun talking 45 minutes.” Yep, that’s seems to be appropriate.
On 1st and 2ndof April I can and will show the performance (trailer) again in HAU3 (Tempelhofer Ufer 10, Berlin) at 9:30pm/21:30Uhr, while the whole thing is starting at 7pm/19uhr. See here for more infos and tickets.
And the photo above is my uhm ‘press-photo’ for it. Wanted to sort of imitate a Morrissey-Pose (1234), but now it looks kind of a advertising for American Apparel… And if you’re wondering what’s going on with my legs: I’m sittin on tha toilet. The light in my bathroom is always so superb, that when I’m taking a dump it feels like all the descriptions of near death experiences finally make sense. Not sure what I wanted say with the stretching of the suspenders tho, but the shirt is of course a reference/theft to that Jenny Holzer-series.
Btw, I never noticed I have such big fucking ears. Guess I could be in competiton with this guy.
Finally uploaded the last song of the soon to be self released Ep by Neues Nichts. Took me ages until I finished this one, as it is the song I like the most of the 4 that are going to be on the Ep. Well, it’s not on a label and nearly nobody is going to listen to it anyway, but for me it’s quite a big thing, as I never have put out/uploaded a coherent recording ever, just single songs every now and then. And then yesterday I recorded the final bass-line, which unintentionally has almost the same notes like the one in Priests - Leave me alone, but actually you hardly can hear it, as it is heavily distorted. Try to record a video for the song in the next days too, make the artwork & some demos and then it’s “find a label”-time.. Btw, set up a facebook page earlier that day - and now was really about to say “be the first one to like” … Nah, I can’t say that. Are we talking to ourselfs again, Sebastian? We? AAAAA
Found some photographs of Terry Richardson I lasercut about 3 years ago. I have nothing against Richardson in particular - He’s just an old man, about to turn fifty, who perpetuates the cliché of a faded “Sex, Drugs and Rock’n’Roll”-lifestyle, which artistical date of expiry ran out a long time ago. No, what pisses me of is the increasing missing of something like a dialog or discourse in and about art in general, maybe caused/hastened by social media. “Oh yeah, it’s a photograph of Terry Richardson, he’s quite famous.” Click, Like, Click, Thumbs up. Sure, it looks cool, but does it mean something? And does being a famous artist mean, that I have to like his stuff? I mean Gerhard Richter is famous too, but most of his paintings fuckin suck. And he’s got absolutely nothing to say, which is probably why he is famous.
Every artwork today seems to be “good”, “interesting” or “exciting”, but couldn’t it also be “thrilling”, “haunting” or “life changing”? Or new or at least something I haven’t seen before? Couldn’t it dare something? Couldn’t it try to make a look ahead? Like Robert Hughes said, that “the truly significant work of art is the one that prepares the future.” Does the pile of crap you tag with “artists on tumblr” prepare anything at all? Is it uncool to ask these questions as an artist nowadays? Are we fed up with politics, wherever politics might start? Have we seen it all before - on the internet - so that there’s nothing left to do, than to make meaningless art and celebrate ourselves? Seems the Society of the Spectacle unfolds itself in full bloom in the 10s of the 21st century. Blame it on the zeitgeist.
Where is the energy? Where is the overkill, the rage? Where are the statements, the indefensible theses, the inconvertible manifests? Where are the Beuys and Schlingensiefs? And why is every second artist naming his/her pieces “untitled”? Is it because they have absolutely nothing to say? A thousand photos of someone posing in front of white wall, doing some unmeaning gesture. Wow. That’s something new. Dessert please? No, thanks - The things you want to pass me as “excess” already bore the shit out of me.
Performance last Friday went good, not as ‘smoove’ as I wanted, but still quite good. Actually it was voted for ‘Best Piece’ (of the festival) by a jury in that venue (Hau3) and on 1st and 2nd of April I can show it there again. I even missed the award (= vodka & restaurant meal) presentation, cause I didn’t know there was one. On their facebook-page they have a soundcloud-link with a recording of the prize-giving and at about 20.20 you can hear my announcement, my missing and some words by them about the performance - if you understand german. “Punkrock will never die.” Schon klar.
Here’s the final trailer for the performance on this friday. It’s in German, but most pictures probably speak for themselves. To sum it up: At first it’s about how much I love looking at photos of hardcore/punk-concerts and how I wanted to do something similar in art, when I was accepted for art school. And then Uni began… Well, and the second part mostly is about how much I hated it.
In German - Für die paar Follower, die in Berlin wohnen und es interessiert: Diesen Freitag, 21.2. 23 Uhr (~45 min) im HAU3, Tempelhofer Ufer 10 - ”Das könnte meine letzte Performance sein.”
Eintritt kostet leider 12€ pro 100°-Festival-Tagesticket, kann aber ein Freiticket vergeben und 2mal zum halben Preis. Vielleicht wird’s auch günstiger, da es die letzte Aufführung für den Abend ist. Hier mal noch das ganze Programm fürs 100°-Festival als Pdf.
Nothing much happening currently here, as I’m preparing this performance for February 21th. So here’s a gif of a dead man to tell you I’m alive. It’s from a German movie called "Die Nacht singt ihre Lieder" (Nightsongs), which I watched again some weeks ago. I hardly watch movies overall, but this one I really liked. One main figure is a guy, who never leaves the house and writes manuscripts, that always get rejected, until one day the lover of his girlfriend appears in the flat and while the two are arguing, he actually leaves the house, as he jumps out of the window. Besides the other parallels, hopefully this ain’t my fate, too. Well, it propably won’t be anyway as I just live two storeys high.
Actually I used to make quite a lot of gifs on this blog (what a ridiculous name, btw) about 3 years ago, but it turned to be like a cheap trick more and more to get notes and followers, which didn’t really bring me anything, until I sort of closed that account one day and opened this blog for a fresh start. And there I am again, making gifs..
So yeah, I was accepted at that performance-festival and this is my “press”-photo.. The phrase is from “Talking Heads - (Nothing but) flowers”, which I wanted to project on my head first too, but it was totally unreadable, therefore the lame compromise with the paint-layer.
The Performance is going to take place on 21th February, 11pm at Hebbel am Ufer (hau3) and I’m sort of in a shaky mood, because most of the piece isn’t even existing yet, but on the other side I can’t wait to dump my shitload of dilettantism there, as it’s quite a prestigious theatre in Berlin.
2013 is nearly over and I still don’t know, whether it was a good or bad year. It was kind of none of that - It was just there. I didn’t lose someone important and I didn’t get to know someone, who could be important to me. I finished university though. “Graduate of Free Arts - Mark 1,3 / Very good” - Sounds like a participant-cerificate in the annual sport events back in school. Successfully reached last place. I remember how these ignorant motherfuckers of professors praised their asses off about my works in the final exam. How it addresses so many contemporary topics and how my career now would blast off. The reality is, that I’m unemployed and live off my savings.
But as you might already guess: I’m happy that Uni is over. Happy not having to go to that ugly building, which indeed was constructed like a prison. Happy not having to take part in these pointless discussions in class. Happy not having to look at the works of other students, that mostly looked like a cross-section of mediocre art of the 20th century. Even when I look at my own stuff, which I posted here the last months, it feels as if there would be years inbetween, although it mostly hasn’t even been one. While studying art I always wondered, whether I actually would do art, if I wasn’t enrolled for it. Well, likely at least not in that amount and it’s really relieving not having to scroll through shitty art-blogs every day just to know about the latest piece of wood leaning on a gallery-wall or the new performance of a lady slipping on melting butter.
Even though I haven’t really reached something this year, I don’t look back at it with regrets, rather than as a preparation of what hopefully is going to come up. I’m still not the slave of a down drawing job and without thinking about it I’ve made the decision to not follow that “Get more money and climb up the career ladder”-path. Someone once said, that as an artist one should spend 10 years after finishing school with doing nothing, taking drugs and just hanging around to invest in your following tenure, because you will never learn more in your life than in those 10 years. Being 27 now, I guess I took that advice very seriously.
It can’t be like this forever: Money is slowly running out and I have to get a part time job soon. Beforehand I’m hoping to get that manuscript done and find a publisher for it. Also, I am going to record my first demo and send/upload it to labels. Yes, finally wrote that down. Almost to the day, it has been 10 years since I played my first and till now last show as a musician, when we covered the song "17" of the German band Tocotronic at a Christmas party in school. The song above (little video to it here), and like the other ones that are going to be on the EP, is, to be honest, heavily inspired by the early sound of Tocotronic. I know, in contrast to their early records, it still sounds like shit and I know that a lot has to happen, but I will continue working on it, because I’m not done yet.
Sth old: Heart-print glued to cardboard (in which the words are cut out), that is attached to a red painted lightbulb going off and on about every second with the help of a power-switcher-plug-thing. Size is 20x25cm/8x10in.
Because it’s in german, in german: Hier mal ein Cover von Almuts - Draußen riechts nach Winter. Gefällt mir leider selber nicht so gut, wie das Original und man hätte sicherlich noch viel dran machen können, aber ich hatte das Gefühl, wenn ich es jetzt nicht “veröffentliche”, mach’ ich’s nie. Ziemlich Lo-fi, Hall gegen unendlich und man merkt dem Lied wohl an, dass ich in diesen langweiligen Tagen viel 'In diesen langweiligen Tagen (Demo 1993)' von Tocotronic gehört habe…
I made my conclusive theoretical term paper about the performance/-musicgroup HGich.T (who you might know from their hits ‘Hauptschuhle' or 'Tutenchamun’) and was allowed to make a video, which is uploaded here [yt, 18min, german]. Achja: Note 1,3 und “die erste Theoretische Hausarbeit auf Youtube.” Hallelujah.